Should i text him first after a hookup
Should you do it… or wait for him to make the move? | Source: ShutterStock
Do guys like it when girls text them first? Or do you think its the guy’s job to do that? Also, when he does text you first, should you wait a while to text him back so he doesn’t think you’re just waiting around for him?
I tend to believe that Assigning dating “jobs” to specific genders is a thing of my parents’ (or even their parents’) age, so I don’t think it’s necessarily a guy’s responsibility to open communication. And, as I wrote a few weeks ago, We love it when girls take initiative. Whether you’ve yet to go on a date, or have been hooking up for months, you should totally feel free to text him first. If the guy is into you, he’ll simply be psyched to hear from you.
Now, how and when you follow up from the initial contact is Another story. I don’t believe in playing games once you’re in a relationship or have established some sort of exclusivity, but A little bit of mystery can only make things more exciting. You don’t have to adhere to any crazy hardfast laws (we’ve all heard of the “Three Day,” “One Hour,” or “Make Him Suffer” rules when it comes to returning a guy’s phone call), but it’s especially important in the opening weeks of any budding romance to Be aware of pacing. This is absolutely crucial! For any relationship to take off, you must both be aware of how much space to give or pressure to apply, depending on the signs each of you put out there.
I want to stress again that there is absolutely Never any harm in making the first move–but when you’re not getting back what you’re putting in, you have to kick back and wait for the guy to pull his own weight. Furthermore, if you’re not finding his consistently lame-o responses of “k” satisfying, or he habitually takes the “Make Her Suffer” response-time rule to the limits, the guy just might not be right for you. Ultimately, you’ll know you’ve found a match when the flirtatious gameplay feels Exciting and fun, rather than like Chinese water torture.
Ethan Fixell is a writer and comedian from New York City best known as one half of comic “dating coach” duo Dave and Ethan. He is also the creator and editor of ActualConversation. com. For more on Ethan, visit EthanFixell. com…or call his mom, Robin.
Are you confused about a guy? Do you find yourself wondering, “What is he thinking?” Tell us everything in the comments! And if you have a question for Ethan, email him at askaguy@gurl. com!
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My husband Sam and I are getting a divorce and its a very sad and disappointing situation for me and my gut thinks he feels the same. We have hurt each other and its very confusing because its not something that I feel can’t be repaired now, but at the time there was so much drama and we both became passive aggressive and worked against each other and it was so frustrating. I miss him terribly and love him dearly and I’m emotionally stuck. I stopped initiating contact because I was hurting myself hoping and believing he would be my fairy-tale dream come true and we could both work on making changes to make each other happy and save our marriage. I communicated what I needed and he said he couldn’t promise anything and we agreed on going to a marriage enrichment program which he didn’t attend due to work so we talked when I returned and he said he would definitely attend the next one and I said if you really want to go I would go too 100% but he would need to contact me and make an effort because I couldn’t afford to stay in limbo and then take off work again for him to cancel and it hurt going alone but it was a beautiful experience that got me through the holidays. He said he would call me later and I never heard from him again. It was so unlike him but his ego is big and he probably wanted me to call him as I mainly did but he brings up the very few times that he contacted me where I didn’t get back to him fast enough. We are both hurt and damaged. It has been almost 2 months and I am not sure how to approach it and wanted an outside opinion. I know there are so many factors you don’t know but I struggle with boundaries which lead me to always taking a lot from him but his good is genuine and his anxiety and temperament I feel I could embrace in a more loving way if we just put down our swords and got the help we needed. If I don’t talk to him I will never know how he feels and he won’t either and that would be a shame. Maybe he wants me to be the first one to call to show him he is worth it and I am waiting for the same thing. Maybe by calling I will get rejected but at least I would have the closure I need one way or another. Any thoughts?
My parents have setup a proper arranged marriage for me. The guy they chose was supposed to call me before our families meet. But he didnt called. Should i drop him a msg asking the gud time to call/ msgor should i keep waiting for his call?
I don’t know what to do…. My boyfriend isn’t online on Skype and I don’t know what’s going on… Maybe the Internet is cut off… And I have no other way to contact him… I feel lost
I don’t know if he likes me but I like him.
What should I do?
OK so I like this guy, he’s kinda a friend of the family’s. I went over to his house a few rimes and he hung out with me and kinda flirted but I’m just not sure if he likes me back. The other problem is that he does have a girlfriend. But the other day I heard him and his girlfriend screaming and yelling at each other. He’s also older than me but I just can’t help the fact that I’m atracted To him. Plus everytime I’m there he seems to want to hangout with me more than his girlfriend. And so now I really want to text him but I just don’t know what to say. Have any advice on what to say?
Not sure if people still check this but i need help!!
A few months back me and this guy went on a few dates, slept together a couple of times then he said he didn’t want anything serious, i was annoyed and we kinda fell out with each other and weren’t speaking.
Then last week we walked past each other on the street and said hello, a couple of hours later i got a text from him where he apologized for how we’d left things and said he wasn’t in the best place at the time. We carried on texting and I mentioned that i had now bought a car and he said i should take him for a drive.
A few days later i took him for a drive and we slept together and since i haven’t heard a thing. We slept together a few days ago.
I text him a funny picture making fun of my driving which he said was spot on then there was a couple of texts about the sex. then nothing. Whats going on with him?
I’ve been dating an amazing guy on and off for about 3-4 months. When we are together it’s so comfortable and great. At 3 months we had sex. Now the on and off thing was my fault because I didn’t know if I really wanted to be with him, and during the time i did not contact him he contacted me but I did not respond. OK back to the now, so after sex which has happened about 3 times already we cuddle talk for hours and depending on whether or not he has to work I spend the night. We text and talk on the phone pretty frequently, but he works Alot, takes care of family and owns a building that needs to be tend to. He is distant after sex a little doesn’t really talk much a few days after but calls me his wife and his future wife. He wants me to have his last name and is always asking how many kidsi wantand when. i guessi can’tunderstand whyhe actsso distantafter sex…..
I dated this guy and we are from different countries and now its over because of the distance he sais. But we were so in love and thats why i dont understand how he let go of me so fast. When i left he even cryed he was litteraly devastated as myself too…. and now he just stoped writing back, just ignores me. I just dont understand how can you lovea person so much and then just stop having feelings for her …. i’m still in deep pain, i feel the need to write to him all the time but i dont want to bother him so i dont… what shoud i do? I just need answers…
I’ve been texting a guy for a while and I’m not really sure if he’s into me.. Sometimes hell text me everyday and sometimes he won’t and I feel like I have to text him first. If I miss his text and text back the next day he has said he’s bored? How do I tell if he likes me? Or if he’s not even worth my time?
So, we are 23 and this guy has been looking at me n so was I.. I sat near him one day and he moved to sit next to me but we didn’t talk much. The eyeing kept going but things were really slow.. He sometimes showed attention sometimes not. He would always speak to me when he was not with his friends cz they would make fun and would be sweet.. The last day of class came up to me on his own n spoke until his friends dragged him away.. Then I spoke to him again for a bit and asked for his number. Sensing he would take forever. I texted n he texted back I asked certain questions but then I texted a bit late n he hasn’t replied to my answer since… What should I do? Text him a hey or wait? Its been two days already… N I had a feeling that he was into me when he would keep looking at me again and again. But now its nothing.
I met a guy at a university summer program at a different country from where I am from. I really started to like him and I have a feeling he liked me back but never told me. i kept my feelings silent because I knew I would head back to my country and was afraid to really like him. He was with me right before my bus took off. Later I got his number from one of his friends amd texted him. During the program he would be very attentive to me, but then when I texted him he would take a long time to respond and I do mean long! Does this mean he isn’t interested in messaging me now? Maybe he never liked me like I had thought?
Hi i have been liking this guy for quite some time already he is in the same course as me just different class. i feel that we have many things in common like we both have a twin! we were in the same internship company and before we start texting, i didnt have a conversation with him at all until recently when our internship is ending as i was really too shy to walk up to him to talk to him. My friend who know i liked him wanted to help us and used my phone to text him. We talk alot via text then we see each other we didnt talk. but i was always the one that texted him first like around 5 times already. Sometimes he would kill the conversation by replying a haha i see. but i didnt text him everyday as i feel that i might be irritating him. It was until recently i saw him near my house area de mall with his twin while i was with my twin that i decided to text him to talk about it. i tot he would text me first about it but in the end he didnt. i noticed he stares at me sometimes when we are in the office together. Before that we would talk about our internship stuffs but now our topics are all not related to our internship at all and we could joke with each other now abit like flirting abit about handsome and pretty girls then said just kidding. My friends also told me they heard my name being said between his and his friend. But i really feel that i took too much initative to talk to him like if he kill the conversation i would send another text. Im quite afraid i do too much to let him notice me and he might just lose interest. Worse thing is that im not even sure if he likes me. But im quite sure that he had already suspects that i had liked him. Im really unsure what to do now.. Please someone tell me what to do? should i keep replying to continue the conversation or wait for him to show that he is anxious im not replying and wait for his another text?? i still contemplating as to reply his text yesterday or not 🙁
Where to start it’s been about 5 months now since i’ve started liking this guy. he’s 3 years older …
The thing is he stays about 4 hours away from me. we see each other during school holidays and there’s definitely a spark between us. but we don’t chat nearly enough when we’re apart.. we’re stuck in the more than friends less than a couple situation … he works a lot = studying at university … so he doesn’t have a lot of time.. and i always greet him first when we do chat maybe twice or 3 times a week :/ its awesome we can’t stop talking!! the thing is he doesn’t have time for a relationship right now and i don’t either but i really as in really like this guy 🙁 . we’ve spoken about dating but never seriously … he says he doesn’t kn ow what we are … another problem is that he finds phones impersonal. the question is how do i get him to express his feelings over whatsapp? because i only see him once a month :0 … and how do i get him to admit or state his feelings.. as crazy as this sounds i’ll wait for him because i really like him..
I been text buddy with this guy for about 6 or 7 yrs now and we finally hear our voice the other day the connection click with us it was not a boring phone call but now we back to the texting part and I always texting first and he reply back… 1-2 yrs ago he text first but some reason he stop he say keep loosing my number but I do have strong feeling this guy, he lived 1 hrs from me and about to moved close by me soon..I already told him about 3-4 times I liked him more than a friend..now everyday I be the one texting him first and reply back I want him to notice me
I recently ran into an old fling from very many years ago and we went on a date well needless to say we slept together… He was someone I did have feelings for at one time and after the other night it did reignite a little bit of the same feelings. He did text me the next day said we should hang out again soon but hasn’t texted me since then. Should I text first or just call it a lost cause?
There’s this guy we’ve been friends for a long time kissed a few weeks ago then last we we hooked up and did more now I’m confused we’re still texting but it’s just bk to friends but he will text first then il reply then he will just stop replying whatvi this? Does he want more maybe? Or just making sure we’re still friends?
There’s this guy I really really really like. We see each other during the academic year (we teach Sunday school together) but we go to different high schools so I don’t see him much. I see him every Sunday at church but we can’t talk there. We do text but I always initiate it. He sends very long and detailed respondes and seems interested in talking to me but he doesn’t text first. Should I stop trying? I feel like he must at least like me as a friend by his texting style to me but his lack of initiating it makes me nervous. Thanks!
If he responses you faster or show interest in you, he is might be into you and some guys don’t text first because they feel they’ll annoy girl. Best of luck.